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Beyond what happens to you, what matters is how you react.
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п»їFate is capricious, sometimes it gives us extraordinary moments, and immediately afterwards, it opens the door to crises and difficulties. However, as the philosopher Epictetus pointed out, beyond what happens to you, it matters how you react. And sometimes, we don't do it properly. Because it is not easy to be a strategist of adversity or a guru in this existential ups and downs.
We could add another interesting idea to Epictetus' classic phrase. What determines our quality of life is not only the way we react to those unexpected difficulties, to those black swans of which the essayist Nassim Taleb spoke. It is also the learning we gain from that specific experience that matters.
Thus, something that is often seen is that people, although we all go through the same circumstances, react and understand these specific stages very differently.
For some, for example, losing their job means getting stuck and/or falling into depression. Others, on the other hand, take advantage of this fact to reinvent themselves to generate new projects that end up producing great results.
All this shows us that it is not only necessary to know how to react, it is necessary to know how to respond in order to come out stronger from this complicated event.
It is not what happens to you, it matters how you reactWho more or less has ever read or heard the phrase "life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react".
However, a good part of us are often the exclusive victims of what happens to us. We feel incapable of doing anything else, because there are immense impacts that leave us anchored to suffering for a long time.
In those cases in which we let the days go by without acting or facing, only questions appear in our mind: Why did this have to happen to me? Have I done something wrong? What is going to become of me in these circumstances? The person focuses only on the facts, on those adverse events. However, there is another way to handle these situations.
Instead of obsessing on the facts, we must awaken attitudes. More than questions, we have to design strategies to react to that particular problem. It is a matter of substituting anguish with decision making and thus making fear and pain disappear.
When faced with what you cannot change, acceptance and transformationIt does not matter what difficulty you have before you, it matters how you react and how you choose to respond to that problem. As Albert Ellis rightly said, one matures when one finally stops blaming others for one's unhappiness.
It doesn't matter what our parents did, it doesn't matter how bad you had it in your last relationship or how angry you are with the current or past political management. It matters how you react. That's all.
You matter, you are the backbone of your life and your biggest responsibility. Therefore, when something happens that leaves you breathless and out of your control, the first step will be the acceptance of that fact.
The second step is transformation. Only when we dare to change and make courageous decisions, our reality changes. And it does so for the better.
Your best dress on difficult days: your attitudeAmong all that you wear, the most powerful and beautiful thing is your attitude. It is the one that will mold your feelings and emotions towards a purpose.
Attitude repairs insecurities, attenuates fears, places goals on the horizon and also helps us to make new resolutions with confidence in ourselves.
Every day you have the opportunity to build your futureYou may be going through uncertain, hard and complicated days right now. In these circumstances, it also matters how you react and what you choose to do. It is also necessary to remember that everything we do today will build or limit our future. We can build or deconstruct, move forward or backward.
The decision you make today will resonate in the future. So, choose to take responsibility for yourself, act, respond, mobilize dreams and strategies remembering that yesterday does not matter, what matters is what you do today, here and now.
Reacting always implies changing something about ourselves.
React and respond are verbs that indicate action, movement; that revulsive activity of those who choose to leave old patterns to act with a new approach. Thus, any unexpected event, any big or small challenge, forces us to irremediably shed some personal layer already unusable to awaken another with more light, energy, courage and creativity.
Because beyond what happens to us, beyond suddenly finding a large stone on the road, it matters how you react to it, how you choose to overcome it and what new skills you dare to apply to overcome this obstacle. Let's keep it in mind, knowing how to react allows us to live better.
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